If You'll Indulge A Dad...

My three year old Adam loves to draw. Draw, color, paint, you name it - he's at it from dawn til dusk. He knows how to use a lightbox and he knows the basics of photoshop. (Enough to fix the "outside the lines" parts)

Anyway, one morning while I was uploading my comics he said "When you're done we'll have to put my drawings on my website." I figured, why not? So I set up a page on owendunne.com for him, and so we put up his drawings and emailed his relatives to come visit. Now, when he's done with a drawing that's he's particularly pleased with, he'll say "This is one for the website!"

He's a remarkable little boy. He has quite a vocabulary for a three year old - yesterday he used the word "delectable" (correctly) and can turn a colorful phrase when you least expect it. After an argument with his older brother, he said he "...was more than mad. I'm foot stompin' mad!"

Anyway, if you'd like to check out his website, it's located here.

No, thank you...

Every once in awhile I'll get an email from someone serving in the armed forces over in Iraq, or Afghanistan, or somewhere not very pleasant doing things that aren't very pleasant. Their emails are always thoughtful and well written, usually thanking me for providing a diversion for a few moments because they enjoy my comics.

That always gets me. Thank me? I'm just sitting in my den, writing my silly words and drawing my funny pictures. I'm not dodging mortar fire or worried about land mines and roadside bombs. Cuz believe you me, if there was live ammunition of any kind involved in cartooning there would be no YDK or any other comic I do.

No matter your thoughts on Iraq, the fact is that we have to have an army, there has to be people who volunteer to do these things so the rest of us don't have to. Once, in my early teens, I said to my dad "If you and mom would have had me sooner I'd have my driver's license by now." Dad smiled and said, "yeah, and you'd have gone to Vietnam, too."

Uh uh. I'll wait.

So as the title of this little ditty says, no...thank you.

I'm Sorry, My Dad's Not Home...

I've signed up for all the "Do Not Call" lists, yet still the phone rings.

I'm not a phone guy. Unless it's a relative or a close friend, or someone calling with good news, I want nothing to do with the phone. One, I just don't like talking to people I don't know, and two, I'm bad at saying no. So when they call asking for donations to this that or the other thing, I'm more likely than not to say yes, even though I don't want to. For example, a major charity called a few weeks ago asking if they could count on me for a pledge of $40.00. More specifically, they said "Mr. Dunne, we know we can count on you this year. Can we put you down for a pledge of $40?" So already, if I say no, I'm letting people down. They're counting on me! Okay, yeah, go ahead.

Let me note that the only reason I even answer the phone is because I have kids in school, and I'm assuming the one time I don't answer is when the school is actually calling for something.

Anyway, so I agree to this and a few days later the pledge card arrives in the mail. Now, it's just after Christmas and there are bills to pay so I set it aside, fully intending on honoring my commitment, just not that freaking second. Five days later I get a call from the charity, reminding me about my pledge and wondering if I could please send that in. Now, this annoys me slightly, because I have to answer the stupid phone again and there was a sort of credit card collection tone to the woman's voice. Pissed off, the pledge goes to the bottom of my "to be paid" pile. Four days later another call. At five minutes to nine. (I was expecting a different person. Although I beg and plead with people to please use my cell number, they don't.)

Then, on three consecutive nights, phone calls from the same charity leaving messages on my answering machine.

Okay, now, you're getting nothing. The pledge card has met the shredder.

I should note that at one point I asked if there was a way to pay online. It's a major charity and, well, 2006. She reacted as if I had asked to pay with holographic coins.

Their latest tactic, and I've noticed this a lot among telemarketers, is to use your first name as if they know you. I'll answer and they'll say "Owen?" I'll say yeah, thinking it's someone I know, and then they launch into the pitch. My newest technique is to wait until they're a few seconds in, then I'll say "Oh no, I'm Owen Jr. I think you want my dad." I'll get all teenage and nasally.

I used this technique the last time the charity called. After I told them I was Owen Jr., I told them that my dad wouldn't be able to call them back for awhile because he was in the hospital with the very disease they were collecting for.

Now, I only hope I haven't seriously fucked myself up, karma-wise. But they ain't calling anymore.

Interesting Statistics

Now that my front page on the web site is more of a portal to the strips, I can get a better idea of who reads what. After doing some extrapolating and wand waving, I've determined the following...

You Damn Kid is read by 91% of the visitors to the site
Norman is read by 80%
My New Mommy is read by 76% (That's pretty good for a new strip. Don't suppose it has to do with boobies, huh?)
Nippleshine is read by 62%

It's interesting to note that although NM is the least read, it's readers are the most vocal about demanding new strips.

Anyway, just some fun facts.

Cable Ratings

I think it's funny that the two of the highest rated programs on basic cable, on a consistent basis, is professional wrestling and SpongeBob Squarepants. Given all the choices available to the basic cable subscriber, fake fighting and an animated show about a talking sponge are the favorites. Now, I'm not knocking SpongeBob - I'm a fan myself - but we're talking about episodes that been repeated hundreds of times. It's just funny.

I think of this every time I see Anderson Cooper on CNN or Keith Olbermann on MSNBC trying sooo hard to be hip. Guys, you could triple your numbers and still not touch SpongeBob's ratings. If it were Edward R. Murrow, Walter Cronkite or David Brinkley anchoring the cable news shows, and doing the kind of news they used to do, this situation would bother me. But as it stands, these numbers seem to be valid and correct, and as they should be.

The New Site Is Going Up...

...and will probably be full of problems and bad links and stuff. If you see anything, let me know.

Jethro...trend setter?

According to this article in the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Jethro's hat has become fashionable.

Clippy clappy indeed.

A Sneak Peak...

Think 60's style sitcom meets modern day storytelling...

Coming Attractions

So here's some of what you can expect when I launch the new website on Wednesday...

First of all, the comics updating will be YDK, of course, Norman Function, Nippleshine Manor and something new called My New Mommy. I haven't decided on a set schedule yet, but my plan is to have fresh content everyday. In fact, there will be a little spot on the corner noting the consecutive days of on-time updates. (Yes, I'm fully aware of my reputation. 2006 is my start over.)

YDK will update three days a week. Two regular b/w strips and a big color one on Sundays. Norman will become less gag a day and more story oriented. It starts with Norman, his little brother Albert and O'Toole The Foul-Mouthed Chicken moving in with Norman's grandmother, Nana Function.

Nippleshine Manor will be more or less the same, but eventually there will be more things happening outside the estate.

My New Mommy is really an outgrowth of The Beevnicks. But it's sick and twisted and dark and all the good things you've come to expect from me. I'll have a handful of strips at the start to give you a backstory as to what the strip is all about.

One more big thing, that I'm really excited about, is something called YDK Radio Theatre. It's an homage of sorts to old time radio shows. With satellite radio and podcasting it seemed a natural, and it's something I've always wanted to do. I've got a nifty audio trailer I've done for it, and if the new computer gets here this weekend I'll put it up.

Coming later on, more original music, and hopefully an animated Norman short.

Whew. Time to get to work.

Geraldo...geez.

Let me say up front that the only reason I found myself watching "Geraldo At Large" is because I keep forgetting they've replaced the 10:30 pm "Seinfeld" reun. So there.

He's interviewing a relative of the one West Virginia miner who survived-just after she's discovered he is alive-and asks her "Is this a huge burden off your chest?"

Wow. I mean...wow. Is the fact that you've just learned on of your family members is not dead a good thing?

Now, this exchange gets replayed the following night, as Geraldo feels the need to recap a good portion of his show with everything that went on the night before. That's okay, the entire media was doing this all day yesterday. But I'm assuming that Geraldo - seeing as how his name is on the title and he probably has some kind of editorial control over his show - might have seen the clips they planned to run that evening. And I'm thinking, if it were me, or anyone with, I don't know, common sense might see that and say "don't use the clip of me standing there with a cell phone asking such an idiotic question."

I guess, um, not.

Do I Really Need A Forum?

I think more people posted comments to this blog in one day than have done so at the Keenspot forum in a year. That forum is pretty dead, has been for a while, so I'm wondering if it's even worth keeping. Since no one ever posts there, it gives the impression that YDK isn't that popular, but there's no correlation between the two. There are strips that don't have half the readership but hundreds of forum users. Can't I just use this? Or...something? Thoughts?

An Obituary, But Yeah, It's A Good Thing...

So, for starters, the old horse finally breathed it's last kilobite. On New Year's eve, I took apart the old boy, my Compaq 486, for a cleaning and to re-attach the sound card that had become loose. The back was filled with dustballs, grime and other odd little things, like a Teletubbies CD that one of the children must have physically pushed through the tiny space under the CD-ROM. I cleaned it up, put it all back together, and...nothing. We tried, but it was too late. Even when it was new it wasn't much of a computer, but it got me where I am, so, it's a bit sad. It was way back when, (97?) when I first tried to put a comic up on an AOL website. I then went to a place called usaserve.net, (I think) where I stayed until Keenspot launched in 2000. All the while my trusty Compaq was by my side, creaking and squeaking but always working. Now, you have to understand that I'm one of those people that will use something until it falls apart, literally. I can afford new sneakers, but I've worn pairs until there was no sole left on one of the shoes. The old boy has a cable modem but my speed is something closer to dial-up. So, yeah...dead. I salute you.

Anyway, what that means is that there will be a delay in the relaunch of the new website. The new computer is boxed and on it's way, with promises of many cool things. I'm looking at Wednesday, January 11 as the new date. And it will be cool. I'll be debuting something I've wanted to do for a long time, and I'm pretty excited. It's turning out very well. And, finally, I'll be able to do this full time. Starting January 11, youdamnkid.com and it's contents will be my job. I know there's been many false starts before, a lot of missed updates, etc. because life and the need for real income always intruded. Enough promises. It's up to me to convince you, and I'm looking forward to it.

Yeah, and a blog, too. (And a picture too! Do I look like you imagined?)